Solace
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Author: Li Pei Fen
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama. Romance.
Status: Complete.
Pairing: Ban x Kazuki.
Summary: Ban and Kazuki go undercover searching for a necklace.
View as a Complete File

“Morning,” Kazuki greeted as he noticed Ban had woken up, head rested on his chest and arms around him. While Kazuki was asleep, it seemed that Ban had found a way to sneak up to his bed and snuggle with him unnoticed. “You like to sleepwalk, don’t you?” Kazuki asked, though somehow, he didn’t mind this.

“Oh…” Ban sat up properly. “Uhm, well, I couldn’t sleep last night…”

“That’s okay,” Kazuki said, then got up and tied his hair in a ponytail before he started making the bed. “You can go shower first. I’ll make breakfast and fix stuff. Your clothes are over there, near the table,” Kazuki pointed to the little table on the other side of the bed.

“No, wait, I still have to fix the car…I’ll just take a bath after that…” Ban replied, yawning widely.

“Suit yourself…” Kazuki said, not looking at him as he re-fluffed the pillows.

“Some breakfast?” Kazuki requested some thirty minutes later. He had just finished taking a bath himself, and was holding a little tray with a glass of steaming coffee and some bread and ham.

Ban rolled out form under the car. “Yeah, I think I should have some food first…I can’t work on this properly with an empty stomach!” he said, sitting beside Kazuki on the doorstep.

“How’s it coming?”

“So-so… Just a little tuning would have it running like before… Give me some more twenty minutes and it’s done,” Ban bragged, reaching for the piece of bread beside him.

Kazuki saw this and hit the back of Ban’s hand lightly. “No, you’re still so dirty! Go wash your hands first. Tsk, tsk, tsk, people nowadays don’t care about hygiene anymore…” Kazuki shook his head in trivial disappointment.

“Sorry, okay… Even if I wash this, it’s not completely gonna come off anyway. Darn car oil…” he said, looking down at his filthy black hands.

“Tsk, you’re helpless,” Kazuki shook his head again and got the bread from the plate. “Aa—“ he said, gesturing for Ban to imitate him as he opened his mouth. Ban followed obediently, since there wasn’t really much reason to refuse being handfed by this beautiful man.

Ban picked up his cup of coffee as he chocked on the piece of bread that entered his throat faster than he allowed. “No, that’s still ho—“ Kazuki tried to warn him, but too late, Ban was already sipping on it. In less than a split second, he was spitting the hot liquid onto the floor as he coughed. Kazuki patted him on the back very gently to quieten his partner.

“Ow, ow! Shit, my tongue’s killing me!” Ban complained, teary-eyed.

“I told you it was hot —“ Kazuki said, trying to suppress giggles.

“If I’m not going to be able to taste anything from now on, it’d be your fault,” he threatened blankly.

“Do I need to remind you who’s house it is that you slept in, and who’s the one who’ll be paying for the food you eat?” Kazuki said jokingly.

“Fine, be that way…” Ban rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I’ll rape you if you do that again,” he muttered to himself.

“What was that?” Kazuki asked, clueless.

“Woooh! I’m done, finally!” Ban exclaimed, picking up his clothes from the white table. He walked over to the bathroom, which was absolutely spotless. The walls and even the ceiling had no signs of being used for more than a week. ‘Thread Spool sure is being a good housekeeper,’ he thought as he stripped himself off his clothes.

As the cold water of the shower hit his face, he recalled what happened last night. From his confession to how Kazuki reacted and the stupidity and rashness in his actions.

He wondered if he did feel something for Kazuki. Sure, he was gorgeous, everyone knows that. And he was very caring and gentle – someone you’d feel comfortable approaching when you had problems; someone who would welcome you with open and warm arms like that of a mother’s; someone who’d make you feel you were loved, even if the world hates you. But aside from that, what else? Maybe he, Ban, was just a little too much blinded by these ideas. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be with him, or he didn’t deserve him. He himself wasn’t even sure if he was in love with him. But then again, he wouldn’t feel overprotective of him if he wasn’t; wouldn’t feel jealous every time he sensed signs of Kazuki liking Minase over him[LSL1] [LSL2] ; or wouldn’t think about him every second of the day.

He stepped out of the shower. He had only been in there for five minutes, as he checked the wall clock hanging above the sofa.

“Done already?” Kazuki asked, hoisting some washed laundry to the clothesline properly.

“Yep. Missed you already,” he answered, trying to be sweet, which was pretty hard for a guy like Ban. He walked up and hugged Kazuki loosely from behind. He kissed him on the neck lightly as Kazuki rested his hands softly on Ban’s arms that were wrapped around his waist.

“Ban,” Kazuki said, fluidly breaking free from Ban’s bear hug and turning around to face him. He got pretty lost in the depths of his sapphire eyes for quite a long time before he was able to speak. “I’ve been giving some thought about you since last night…and I hope you were, too… have you decided yet?”

Ban thought silently about this for a while. “Well…I don’t know yet if I truly am in love with you…But what I do know is that I really, really like you… isn’t that enough to start with?”

Kazuki took a quiet breath and said, “It’s good that you’ve been thinking about that, and that you were honest about your feelings. I want you to know that I’m actually very happy that you like me, but maybe as anyone would if they found out their friend had a crush on them or something. But, Ban…I don’t know, I just don’t think I really feel something for you, more than a friend, that is… I mean, I really do love you because you’re my friend, but, see…” Kazuki ran out of things to say. “I’m sorry. Look, I know I’m the one who’s being indecisive here…” which was true, because for Kazuki, he always thought Ban’s undesirable qualities far outweighed his good ones in about a 60-40 ratio.

Ban held his face up to lock their gazes together. He just wished he could use Jagan on him to show him how much he liked him, to show him in solid form the way he felt for him. But he’d never cheat and do this the easy way. If Kazuki wanted it to be the traditional way, so be it. He figured that Kazuki might’ve been too surprised by his sudden confession and just needed some time. After that, maybe then, he’d grow to like him too…

“But you’re giving me a chance, right? Just give me a little time, maybe I could change the way you think about me…”

“There’s nothing wrong with the way I think about you… I think you’re a really interesting and kind man at heart. But the problem is, I can’t feel any of the love that you want me to feel for you…”

“Okay…So what do you say about the chance?” Ban asked, every fibre in him wishing for a ‘yes’.

“I’m okay with that. But promise me one thing though… Never let your feelings for me affect the way you do this job, okay?” Kazuki said gently.

“No problem…” Ban said, embracing Kazuki tightly. He was too happy and didn’t realize that Kazuki was talking about his relation to Minase.

“I HATE traffic! Is this punishment or something? Because if it is, it’s kind of unfair. I don’t remember doing anything so horrible to deserve this!” Ban grumbled. They had been in the same spot for thirty minutes already, and the car radio was not working properly, the heat was boiling their brains, and the other cars’ horns were just as irritating as a flying cockroach that never died after being hit a couple of times already.

“Maa… I guess it would be better to park here. Honky Tonk’s only a few blocks away, so we can just walk there…” Kazuki suggested.

“Good idea. My ass is getting sore from just sitting here like this, let’s get out of here,” Ban said as he parked the car in the parking lot beside the mall they were close to. Then he got out of the car and stretched. “I’m gonna have to retire soon if it’s gonna be like this everyday…” he said.

“Come on, let’s go…” Kazuki suggested. They walked through the hot streets of Tokyo, intensifying heat boiling their blood. They thought it would be a good idea to pass through the mall for some cold air. While they were inside, window-shopping, Kazuki saw Tannyeom. He held Ban’s hand unconsciously and pointed at the store with his other hand. “Look. Here’s an example of a store that nearly drove me nuts all the while I was on this job,” he shared. “That’s the dress Hevn-san let me wear. Mighty uncomfortable,” he said, shaking his head.

All the while Kazuki was sharing about his experiences with different Tannyeom-girls, Ban was looking at their connected hands. ‘Had Kazuki done this on purpose?’ shortly, he figured Kazuki was just out of himself and unconsciously did this. There was no way Kazuki would…

But later, as they reached the Honky Tonk, Kazuki was still swinging their hands back and forth merrily, sharing different kinds of stories.

“Irasshaima—“ Even Natsumi stopped dead halfway to her automatic greeting as she, together with Hevn, Paul, Ginji and Shido noticed the holding-hands-act. It was only then that Kazuki seemed to notice that he’d been holding Ban’s hand all the while. “O-oh… Hi everyone. What’re you doing here?” Kazuki asked casually, letting go of Ban’s hand gradually.

Ginji was kind enough to divert everyone’s attention from the awkward situation. “Well, Shido-kun and I are done with our job, so we figured dropping by would be a nice idea…

“By the way, how’re you guys getting along? I bet this quite a difficult job… I heard about the bodyguards and the mansion and stuff… and the ‘thing’… you know, you being disguised as a girl and all…”

“Oh, it’s okay, I guess. It isn’t really scary or threatening as it sounds… And I’m kinda getting used to this girl-stuff, although you have to believe me when I say my feet do literally die on me every night,” Kazuki said indifferently.

“Sou ka… Maa, I hope you finish this job well. Gambatte ne!” Ginji cheered, still upset that everyone was still staring at Kazuki and Ban suspiciously.

“Hevn-san, we dropped by here coz I ran out of clothes… Would you mind lending me some? I have to go back as soon as possible to Hibiki’s,” Kazuki said, trying desperately to turn everyone’s mood around.

“Oh—okay… I heard you were coming back so I prepared something for you already. Come here,” Hevn said plainly, reaching down to pick up the paperback with the freaking Tannyeom label. Then she dragged Kazuki inside his usual “dressing room” which was the small cupboard under the stairs near the kitchen. “Kazuki-san, you’re not with Ban, are you?” Hevn asked.

Kazuki blinked a couple of times before answering. “What do you mean…? He’s my partner, how can I not be with Ban-san?” Kazuki said, hints of ridicule in his tone of voice.

“No, I meant with him /WITH him/!” Hevn said. “Because I did warn you, remember?”

Kazuki pretended to understand only now what she meant. “Oh, so that’s what you meant,” he faked a little laugh. “That’s impossible! Me? Ban? I think that’s a little too much of an irony, isn’t it?” he said gently.

Hevn looked at him warily. “Well, okay… Here’re your clothes. I’m just outside if you need some help or something…” then she left.

“WOAH! Kazu-chan?! Is that you?” Ginji exclaimed in disbelief as Kazuki stepped out wearing a purple long-sleeved blouse with an ivory white short skirt with matching purple earrings and bangles and high-heeled white sandals. To finish off the dainty look, he also wore a thin white headband over his head and didn’t have majority of his hair in strings; only the two trademark ones on the front.

Even Shido was speechless. “Oi, Hevn, I don’t think you should put Hebi-yaro in this assignment…Kazuki wouldn’t be safe with that man anywhere within 30 feet near him…”

“Temme! Are you trying to pick a fight with me?” Ban shouted heatedly.

“Ban-kun, we still have to get to work, don’t we?” Kazuki reminded him before he rolled on the floor with Shido in a catfight.

“Why are you so excited to leave, anyway? There’s still traffic out there. If you want you can drive there yourself.” Ban said half-mindedly, sending daggers to Shido’s direction.

“I would, if I knew how to, ex-boyfriend.” Kazui said.

“Hey, hey, hey… I thought you were still my girlfriend? What happened, you dumped me for Minase?”

“Hah! For your information, Hibiki’s much more sensible than you. I’d rather be with him than some snake man like you…” Kazuki said, blaming the heat and the discomfort his clothes brought him for his impolite, unrefined words he usually didn’t use.

Everyone in the Honky Tonk was staring at them now. Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Surely Kazuki knew more than to choose such a rash, proud, chain-smoker man like Ban?

“Oh fine! So that’s why you were really happy about this job, huh? I bet you were so happy when he was all over you about how you looked good in a bikini, right? …You get to kiss him all the time, you get to sleep with him, and hug him and blah, blah, blah…” Ban said loudly.

“So what? See, you’re doing it again! You’re getting jealous… J-E-A-L-O-U-S!” Kazuki spelled the word with an irritated expression on his face. They were so much into hitting back each other’s insults that they completely forgot about the people around them. They even drove some customers away, but Paul didn’t mind. This was such an exciting scene that not a word should be missed.

“Eh? Why should I be jealous over a nonsense pretty-face like him? I bet I have ten times as much more brains and logic as he does, anyway!”

“Dare you say that! He’s really kind and smart and handsome, if you should know. More like ten times better than you! Hmmph!”

“Ok then. Don’t ask me to help you out of their mansion after you get that stupid necklace back, huh?”

“No, I didn’t say that! And you shouldn’t involve your JEALOUSY in our job… that’s what being a pro is all about, like you said! And if you don’t help me, I’ll make sure you get only a cent out of our pay! You hadn’t really done anything helpful, have you? I’m the one who has to do all these weird things and act like the girl that I’m not, which is hard, of course, and all you do is HANG around! How unfair is that?”

“Yamete kudasai! Kazu-chan, Ban-chan!” Ginji said, trying to calm them down. Hevn, Paul and Shido all came to shut Ginji up. They wanted to hear more.

“That’s not unfair, Thread Spool. I’m the one who pays for the gasoline every time we go out and I’m also the one who keeps you safe, remember?”

“Keep me safe? I’m not just a hopeless sissy girl like everyone thinks! I can protect myself very well, thank you. Oh, and whose bed was it that you slept on last night? No one even said that you could hop in and sleep with me, right?”

‘Sleep with me?!’ There seemed to be a lot more to this issue than they thought.

“But you said it was okay! And how should I know, anyway? There…there was a BIG cockroach on the floor near my futon, so I had to climb up to your bed and I just…fell asleep!” Ban lied transparently.

“Cockroach? My house? That never happened in my five-year history of staying at that place! And even so, that had to be an awfully scary and big cockroach to scare off a big man like you!”

“Whatever! I’m gonna make sure you regret picking a fight with Midou Ban like this!”

“Oh, is this a fight already? Not even close! Well, for all I care! Is this how you prove to me your feelings? Great going, you just blew your chance!” Kazuki said, to the effect that all of the people listening raised their eyebrows in a high arch.

Ban shut up already and stormed out of the Honky Tonk noisily. “Hey, hey, don’t go walking out on me like that!” Kazuki said, running after him.

“…What the hell… was that all about?” Hevn asked, still shocked by the incident.

“Ban!” Kazuki called after him, but Ban wasn’t listening at all. It was already a little cool outside and there were less people. Ban kept on walking as a deaf-mute-blind, completely ignoring Kazuki. He guessed Ban was going back to his car, judging by the route by which he followed strictly.

Ban stepped inside his car a few minutes later and locked all the doors. Kazuki banged on the windows and demanded for him to open the doors this very moment. Kazuki walked around to go over to the window where Ban was nearest. While he was circling the small car, though, a cat came out from behind the wheel and caused him to trip over his own two feet out of surprise.

“Ow!” Kazuki said, trying to sit up properly after the huge, stupid fall. His kneecap was bleeding heavily, because of all places, it landed on a small but jagged rock. “Ooh…” he said, sucking in some air through gritted teeth.

Before he knew it, Ban was out of his car and helping him stand up. “Kazuki, you okay?” he said, as if they never had a fight. “Come here, get in the car…” Ban helped him up to the backseat of his car. “Oh, this is bad… I’m sorry, it was all my fault… Wait, I think I have some plaster strips here…” he said, fumbling about the car to look for where he’d kept the last ones.

He cleaned the wound with the water he brought in case his car overheated. While placing the bandages, he said, “Look, Kazuki, that was completely thoughtless of me… I’m sorry about the stupid things I said. I was just a little irritated at Saru-manshi in the beginning, and…”

“I have to apologize too… See, I didn’t mean to insult you that much, I don’t know what came over me… dakara, I’m really sorry…” Kazuki said in a saddened tone. “And that’s okay. I know you were only aggravated by your jealousy over Hibiki.”

“What?”

“I said, your jealousy provoked you to say those things,”

“E?” Ban paused as it dawned to him that Kazuki was just saying this to enjoy the effect on him, to see how he’d react or simply because he thought it would be fun. Ban decided he should ride on with it. “Oh, yeah… You know what, I was really, literally burning with jealousy in there. It’s all your fault. You know I’m a jealous man, so why d’you keep on doing things like this?”

Kazuki seemed to have found this genuinely cute of Ban. He pinched both sides of Ban’s cheeks as he said, “Why? Because I wanted to test if you really do like me.”

“Oh, you know you don’t need to test me,” Ban whispered, levelling his head to Kazuki’s until their noses were precisely aligned. “Don’t you trust Midou Ban’s words?” he said in a very seductive manner.

“Not really,” Kazuki teased, disabling Ban to control himself further. He always was lost whenever Kazuki was adorably being a tease like this. He kissed him, lightly at first, and gradually increasing his pace, until they were both lying down on the backseat of the small car. They were just making out freely, not caring that the other door was open and that the windows were not tinted. Ban thought it was a great idea to let every guy passing to be green with envy at how beautiful his partner was.

Unbelievable as it was, Kazuki allowed Ban to kiss him for five minutes or more. When they finally decided to stop, they saw a bird perched on top of the door, looking at them with abnormally high interest that they guessed it went by Shido’s orders.

“Darn Monkey Trainer’s sent his comrade. Hell with him. We’re leaving, anyway,” Ban said, walking over to the front of the car and staring the engine. “Saa, we’re going to your beloved Hibiki’s house,”

“Finally! I miss him already! Ooh, when I get there I’m going to kiss him until he runs out of saliva,” Kazuki said dreamily, secretly eyeing the expression on Ban’s face through the side mirror. Ban was rolling in his eyes out of frustration. “Just kidding,” Kazuki said, grinning widely as he kissed Ban on the cheek lightly. “Go Mickey, go!”

“Who’s Mickey?”

“My dog. He died the year before last year, though…” Kazuki shared.

“Right… whatever…” Ban said, looking back to ensure the safety of his car as he drove it out of the parking lot.

“This is about enough. You just have to walk to their house, we can’t go in case someone sees me,” Ban said, opening the door for Kazuki, a corner away from Minase’s killer mansion.

Kazuki stepped out of the car. “Ouch, this thing still hurts…it’s because of this darn skirt…” Kazuki said, trying to pull down his skirt so it would cover the filthy bruise and the plaster strips, evidence of his earlier mishap.

“Don’t force it. It’s impossible, anyway. That thing would reach your knees no matter how much you tug on it,” Ban said, amused at the feminine fussing of Kazuki. “And I bet Minase’d take better care of you now.”

“You know what, you’re right. At least I’ll get more reason to keep close to him 24 hours,” Kazuki joked, halting briefly to see the look on Ban’s face. “Why do you always believe what I say?” Kazuki said in wonderment.

“For all I know, you really are enjoying your stay here, aren’t you?” Ban said seriously.

“Well, of course. Brilliant food, nice treatment, big house, and kind people,” Kazuki ticked his fingers off for each one he mentioned. “What more should I want?”

“Me. I’m not there, so that’d make life bullshit,” Ban said steadily, putting his hands in his pocket.

Kazuki was obviously finding his expressions incredibly cute for a guy like Ban. He walked forward and embraced him tightly. “You know what? One thing that I surely wouldn’t be able to live without is your hug. It just feels so good,” Kazuki said, tightening his grip around Ban’s waist.

“Oh, really? That seems unlikely…” Ban replied, hugging Kazuki back. “Because I can very well squeeze you to death if you dare choose Minase over me,” Ban threatened blankly.

“Hmm… you’ll just have to wait and see…” Kazuki said, eyes closed and smiling gently over Ban’s lousy statement.

“All right then, I’m confident enough to believe that I’ll win anyway. Off you go!” Ban slapped Kazuki on the butt flippantly. “I’ll be around, don’t worry. I’ve been given enough money to be able to stay in an inn or a hotel… whichever I prefer, of course,” Ban said, trying to make Kazuki jealous.

“Suit yourself, ex-boyfriend…” Kazuki said, kissing Ban again on the left cheek. “Take care.”

“I should say that to you. Anyway, just make a way to get Solace as soon as possible. Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could just be at home, swimming in money than to stay here and do nothing?”

“Okaeri, Kasumi-san! We missed you so much!” greeted Minase as he gave him his usual greeting kiss.

“I missed you too so much that I came back already. I was supposed to stay there for more than a day,” Kazuki half-lied, half-truthfully stated, hugging Minase tightly.

“Oh, Kasumi-san, are you alright? What happened to your knees?” Megumi asked, noticing the horrible contusion on his knee.

“Oh, this… It’s nothing; I was just a little too clumsy… A cat jumped in front of me and I tripped, that’s all. No big deal,” he lied.

“No it’s not! Look, that’s a big bruise and there’s still blood coming out,” Megumi said, kneeling down to examine it.

“Better believe what she says, she’s a graduate of doctoring,” Hibiki said truthfully, leading him to the comfy couch near them.

Kazuki was smiling inwardly at how much this felt like family. He didn’t have siblings; it was at an early age that he lost his whole family. He never really felt taken care off except by Juubei who sometimes pressured him too much. But this was just perfect. Megumi was like his big sister and Hibiki was… well, he was really efficient in taking care of him, at the same time he was also unconsciously asking for Kazuki to love him back, which was a good thing because Kazuki had so much love inside that he wanted to share to people who deserved it.

“So when’re you coming back to Tokyo?” Kazuki asked later as he sat on Minase’s bed, fixing his hair.

“I dunno. Depends on Ne-chan’s schedule. I don’t have any important job in Tokyo but to make sure Lollipop’s doing great… but that’s not really urgent, so I guess I can stay her a little longer,” Minase answered, popping a CD onto his big, expensive CD player and lying down on the bed beside Kazuki. He sighed and said, “Oh, life…”

“Why? Did something happen?” Kazuki sat up close to him and played with Minase’s soft brown hair.

“Hm, nothing, really… It’s just so boring. But luckily, you came, and I have someone to court again!” Minase joked.

“Ara, if you’re gonna be my suitor, I’ll be the luckiest woman alive,” Kazuki said, hurt by his own sentence. Who was he kidding? He was no woman… Hibiki would hate him the moment he finds out about his true identity. Otoha’s Ichibyou no Refrain was playing in the background to add to the painful effect on his heart.

Hontou no watashi no koto mada dare mo shiranai… Nobody knows the true me yet…

“Well, that’s very flattering to know…” He didn’t know how it happened, but next thing he saw, Kazuki was already lying beside him. “But that’s quite impossible… You don’t have any other suitor?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Kazuki’s waist.

Usotuite tsuku ni warai, itsumo doko ka samishi katta… Lying and laughing, always, somewhere, I was lonely…

“Suitor? I do have one… But he’s hopeless compared to you,” Kazuki answered, not knowing if he really meant what he said as he thought of Ban…

Shinjiteru anata dake wo… I believe only in you…

“Really, now?” he said, coming in the form of a statement rather than a question as he sealed the conversation with a deep kiss.

Whether Ban’s face popping out of his brain was intentional or brought about his feelings was out of Kazuki’s knowledge. He was bugged by his conscience every time he was with Minase like this… It was as if Ban was watching them, getting hurt, defenceless, and left with no choice. After all, the choice was Kazuki’s to make…

Kanjiteru refurein…I can feel the refrain…

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